All hail my Lagos big girls...All hail the 'not so big girls'(I think this is where I belong)...In this context am not talking about Lagos 'Fat' girls,am talking about the highly influential and sociable girls.They are the ones that get invited to all the fancy parties and know all the super cool people! Have you been craving for this kind of lifestyle? Do you want a colourful Christmas? Do you want that rich Bobo on your Instagram page to notice you? Would you like to be a LBG(Lagos Big Girl) calm down o jare,you just need to have certain things put in place and in this post I have highlighted some of the important things you need..
-A wardrobe Change:This is highly essential,you don't want to end up been invited to an outing or showing up in public looking like a highly devoted deeper life church member! You want to be classy and attractive.Pack all your money,starve yourself enter a boutique and shop away.Afterall,the result would be desirable right? If possible sef incure debt while doing the shopping(some 'big girls' buy cloth on credit don't be deceived).The higher your debt,the higher your big girl status...
-An Accent:Looking good is not enough you have to sound good.Open your mouth and let everyone stare.You need an Accent! American,British,Italian,French,German.,anyone you desire but not a Nigerian accent!! Apparently,Nigerian accent is too razz for a big girl you don't need it! You don't need to leave the country before you can acquire an accent it's not that expensive,watch a couple of oyinbo movies and you are good to go! Even if you gbagaun nobody will notice because your accent will cover it up.A lot of LBG do this you hear..
-A good hair:To complete your look,you need one or two of those hair that flows like water(oh this is on my Christmas wish list too) that kinda hair that will be soft and flying everywhere.Brazillian,Filipino,Peruvian,Argentinian,horse hair anyone! Sha let it reach your bumbum and let it flow like water..By their hair you shall know them! With a good hair even from miles away people can spot you..If you are planning the LBG transition with a friend,you two can contribute money to buy a wig so you can share between eachother(don't be shy most LBG's it's borrow borrow make me shine they are doing) ..
-Fleeking Makeup:You need to learn how to draw eyebrows well like you used a compass and ruler,it has to be on fleek,learn how to highlight and contour.A couple of MAC lipsticks(you don't wanna open your makeup purse and let this roll on kinda lipgloss they use in the 90's pop out of it na) you must always be on fleek! Even if you are going as 'mogbo-moya' to an owanbe,you have to be fully caked up,if possible go to a makeup artist sef(you never know when Mr Rich will pass)...
-Change your Location:You can't be living in ikorodu(i grew up here Mehn),Ketu,ojota and be doing LBG! My friend move to the island! Even if you will contribute with five other girls to live in a single room In the boys quarter,Do It!! Go to exotic places,clubs,cinemas,bars and the rest!Nobody will know that's where you are coming from after you are all dressed up with your accent to go with it.
-24/7 mobilization:You need a steady cab man,Even if you get called at 2am you need a reliable cab man that would take you there,he must be willing to go anywhere with you,even if it's in the Devils yansh! A cab(since you can't afford a car yet) makes your entrance more elegant,you can't just stroll into a place with your 'legedis benz' looking like an aimless person! Also,you need a cab man that is understanding so that he will understand when you can't pay him instantly too...
-Elevate your social Life:Be on all social network! Instagram,snapchat,Twitter and the rest! Start following existing LBG's,famz them well! Like their pictures,tell them they are pretty and on fire even if they look scary,say sweet things,call them boo/bae and leave all those cute love smileys under their pictures.With time they will notice you and you might as well be invited to one of their lavish dinner parties! Just like that,you don hammer!!!
You can follow the steps above to become a LBG or you can just save yourself all the stress and embrace yourself the way you are,no stressing No forming! Whoever would love you,would love you just the way you are regardless of all your flaws.Remember,Only God is Perfect...l
